15 Questions I Never Thought I’d Ask My Preteen

Living with an 12 year old preteen is fun. Right?

My Preteen is a beautiful creation. I adore him, sometimes I stare at him and think “wow, I made him” ….while he is asleep.

I see what everyone is talking about. By Everyone, I mean mothers with teenage boys.

We aren’t even there yet.

He puts the Teen in Preteen.

Although, my son is already the length of an 18 year old. He towers a whole 3cm over my short, stumpy 163cm frame. It’s not really hard to feel like I have a teenage son right now.

Especially with his will being strong. His will to be a pain in the ass.

“Set boundaries”…”Make rules”….”Don’t let him get away with it”….

Okay Martha settle down.

I’m just having a vent okay?

I do love him. But this is what my life has become.

Everyday. OKAY, most days. OKAY, some days…

  1. Why does the toilet smell like an animal pee’d in here?
  2. Why does this room smell like a mustard pickle fart?
  3. Where is all the food?
  4. I just went shopping….again…where is all the food?
  5. Why is there a scooter, a bike and a skateboard barricading the front door?
  6. Who messed up my netflix feed with SO MUCH ANIME?
  7. Who even watches that much Anime?
  8. When was the last time you opened a window in here?
  9. Where are all my cups, plates and drink bottles?
  10. My name is “Mum”, not Carlita, Harambe or Gertrude.
  11. When was the last time you showered?
  12. You showered this morning…*sniff*….are you 100% sure?
  13. How did you manage to get tomato sauce on the roof?
  14. That very long articulate story doesn’t even explain how you manage to get tomato sauce on the roof?
  15. Did you just fall off your chair again? I can’t even….nope..I’m done.

The most asked question is:

16. Where did my little boy go?

It’s not all bad, he’s got a beautiful nature.

He is super funny when he doesn’t take his toilet jokes WAY to far and even when he’s making fun of me, I often can’t contain my laughter.

It’s just temporarily under a stinky pubescent preteenagery veil that’s all…..right?

It get’s better…right?

Hellooooo why isn’t anyone telling me it’s getting better……*echoes*

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