You might have seen me write about this before, if you haven’t – know that I’m an open book about personal mental health issues and just my parenting in general.
In 2006 I had a son and I thought it was the beginning of a new life, a simplistic life. Maybe even a picket fence.
Well, my son had cancer. He had treatment, surgery and some very painful and scary days.
10 years later. He still has painful days, the experience gave him enough fuel to keep an enormous amount of anxiety flaming on for what seems like it will be forever.
Something I do want to share if your child has extreme anxiety. (It might even coupled with another diagnosis which I can relate to).
Some kids have anxiety and are still lovely, cry on your shoulder type children. They will still run to you when they need help.
It’s called the circle of security – Youtube it.
Others….something went wrong somewhere and it’s not always your fault – it could be an experience, like cancer….or not even that bad.
The circle of security is broken. De-functional or sometimes, just different.
They don’t seem like they run back to you.
In fact, they behave like complete ass hats. They come running back, to tell you what a shit show of a parent you are and why everything is your fault.
They chuck an epic fit because it would be easier if you just made the sandwich because now they tore the bread and the sky is falling in, sandwiches will literally be the cause of the end of the human race.
Breaking point creeps in for the parent (me) and your child explodes even more because suddenly, they feel it’s their responsibility to organise your emotions….now who will listen to their bullshit?
Let your child have you for the day. Persevere. Even through anger and name calling. Weather the storm, spend quality time together.
We get in a rut as parents, No judgement.
“Fine play video games all day as long as you let me breathe” – I have been there!
Before you know it, a trip to the museum is totally foreign to them and they don’t even know what it is to be appreciated for turning up.
Don’t punish your child by taking yourself away from them. This sits on the back of thing 1. Take away their shit, video games, money – whatever.
Don’t take away the one thing they truly value, underneath all that asshat behaviour.
Because trust me, the thing they value most – IS YOU
It may seem like its Musicly, Fortnite and Call of Duty….but it is YOU.