Guest Author: Lucy Good from Beanstalk Single Mums.
Beanstalk is an online space which empowers single mothers to re-find their potential and re-build their confidence through a website that delivers targeted information and support.
Lucy works with hundreds of single mothers through the offering of her online course and her Facebook group. She is a blogger, podcaster and mentor. She also speaks regularly on a local radio station, writes articles for the online parenting community and continually hunts down resources of benefit to the single motherhood.
Why Single Mums Have The Best Job In The World
I didn’t set out to become a single mother, I can assure you. Although many do, and hat’s off to them. For me, I thought I had it sorted. Marriage, kids, life in general. But life often has other plans for us. It did for me. My world went from ‘happy families‘ to ‘how did this happen?’ in just a few years.
But I am not here to dwell on the negatives. Quite the opposite. For once I got used to my shiny new status of ‘single mother’, I discovered it came with a heap of positives. In fact, I would go so far as say that single mums have the best job in the world.
Bold statement? Let me explain why.
My Home Is A Happy Place
In most cases, the journey to single motherhood is a rocky one. It can involve years of heart-ache, unhappiness and emotional, even physical abuse. In turn, this creates an unpleasant home for all who dwell in it. By making the break and living separately, means disposing of all that negativity. I have created a new peaceful haven to live in. One in my children can thrive and grow.
No More Niggling Negotiations
Haha .. I call them negotiations, but in reality, they were arguments. With no partner around, I get to make all the decisions. I pick the kids bedtime. I decide what we have for dinner. Whether they can have friends for a sleepover. Whether to re-mortgage the house and travel the world in a beat-up camper. Looking back, having to negotiate every little thing with a partner was exhausting.
Absolute Bedtime Bliss
My bed is one of my favourite places in the world. And even more so now I’m a single mother. All that space … just for me. Well, other than the occasional visit from little people in the night. No more snoring. And I can hog the doona to my heart’s content … guilt-free. Plus, when the time is right, and that’s a big ‘if’, I can invite a potential new partner to share it with me.
When you’re on your own, life has new challenges, ones you simply hadn’t considered with a man around the house. Short of hiring a manny (a male nanny – I want me one of these) I take responsibility for everything. The things I have learnt! I can fix taps, mend cupboards doors, assemble furniture, mow lawns, paints rooms. And all this from a woman who struggled to move a wheelie bin in her married life.
It’s Daddy Time
As single mums, we all have different custodial arrangements. Most have the opportunity to pack the kids off to Dad’s house at least every once in a while. (Some don’t, and ladies, I admire you.) Make no mistake here, there isn’t a partnered mum who doesn’t envy you this. I have now embraced this new way of life and make the very most of my kid-free time. Plus, it allows me to recharge and be the best mum I can be for my kids return.
Getting Twice The Love
Being a single mother can be hard work. We do the job of two adults, both physically and emotionally. Yet with that comes great reward. I love the incredible bond I have with my children. I may do twice the work, but I get twice the love. There is nothing more gratifying than this. It makes everything in life worthwhile. It makes me realise how lucky I am. And confirms my opinion that being a single mum is best job in the world.
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