The Night I Saw a UFO – Horrible HERstories From 1998

The Night I Saw a U.F.O.

15 years old. Laying in bed I saw the light blinking across the sky. My mind skipped straight to the only explanation.

Holy shitballs. Its a U.F.O.

I flew out of bed and crashed into my mother’s room flipping out pointing at the window. It felt while I was screaming about this UFO my mind was starting to unravel. I could hear my conscience, which sounds like Morgan Freeman, trying to yell over the top of me.

Kate, your stoned. This is NOT a UFO. It’s a helicopter.




My poor mother. I think she had already reached the point you have to accept your teenage daughter is batshit crazy. If she did realise I was actually completely baked that night she would have been at a loss of what to do anyway. She couldn’t stop my reckless determination in being a shit teenager.

A few hours earlier I had been partaking at a friend’s house. Actually, I ended up so comatose I’m surprised I made it home. I slipped in the door late with an apology and went straight to bed. When you’re a teenager up to no good like that the rule of thumb is to make no eye contact even after clear eyes. Never mind the fact you smell like you took a bath in a hydroponic lab.

By the time I turned 18, shortly after an ecstasy mishap, all drugs were a thing of the past. Horrible HERstories are about a time in my life where I thought I needed to be high or intoxicated to make and keep friendships. I had no faith in my personality and kindness. So although I may be able to laugh about my antics now – they aren’t glamorous.

The punchline is just because you made mistakes in your younger years or acted like a bit of a knob does not make you a bad person nor dictates your future. Experimental times in life can last weeks, months or years. Addiction can last even longer. If you have moved on with your life then there’s no need to punish yourself for the past.

This story is not to make Cannabis out to be a terrible drug, I’m Pro-Cannabis and believe it should be 100% legal. Your body, your choice. But for me, drinking and drugs were to avoid addressing issues that I needed to face, not escape from.

18 years later I’m happy with Version 2.0 of myself.  If I do see an alien UFO I’ll write it down and post you a memo.

P.S. Sorry Mum. 

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  1. I was a shit teenager myself. On the bright side, my kids won’t get anything past me (I hope). But then, I wasn’t actually getting anything past my parents either 😉

  2. first of all your reaction from ufo to helicopter was hilarious…second of all it’s nice to be able to talk about our past lives as a form of growth1 thank you for sharing.

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