Parenting & Boogers
Think about your whole parenting life and how many times your child has announced a “Fluff” , Boogers , Ear Wax, Snot, Sleep and anything I haven’t thought of. The King Booger counts for 3 points. Be generous with your numbers and do the following math equation:
- Multiply it by how many children you have.
- Now multiply it by 1000
That’s how many Boogers, Ear Wax and “Fluffs” my 4-year-old daughter has brought to me.(BTW she calls them farts – I know…so classy). Not announces. Actually, hand delivers. Even “Farts” (I know it’s sickening). Initially, I was nice about it… “Oh Thanks, sweety, but mummy has no use for boogers so if we could just throw them away and not bring them to me that’d be great. K. Thanx. Bye”
Then I started ignoring her and just telling her to throw them away herself. Sometimes she would. Sometimes she would cry and make me take the booger. Now I’m leaning to the “The next Booger you bring me I’m going to chop your nose off” stage of parenting because I’ve pretty much won the Tatts Lottery of Boogers.
You see she thinks Boogers are really cool. Same with Ear Wax. She has a genuine interest in all the cool stuff our body does and frequently asks questions about the How, why , where and when’s of bodily excretions. But enough is enough. The Booger Delivery service has to stop. In hindsight, I should have started building an extension on my house with the boogers because the Booger Rumpus Room would almost be complete by now.
We moved past the phase where if we found a bug/spider/ant we weren’t allowed to kill it because they were her “pets” and now she accepts I at least have to throw them out of the house. We will get through this.
Parenting & Boogers Huh. What a job.